Ask. Dare to ask.
This Saturday I had an appointment to go look for something both my family and I needed.
While in the car , I tell my friend Amy: “ Amy , I feel shame. I feel shame i know what I want. I feel shame to want that” .
I tell her : “ Let’s just focus on asking for that other thing I want for my family and maybe in a couple years I’ll ask about what i want.”
We get to the boutique, I ask for info about the thing I need to do for my family. They give me the info and because it wasn’t possible for me to get it right there, we start having conversations about things closer to what i want.
My friend and I curiously ask: Oh you have that here?
The guy says : oh we carry a diversified inventory.
In a shy voice i tell him : What I actually want for me is : ..
He looks at me and says: Be Careful about what you ask for.
We have that . It is not posted , but we do.
I tell him the specifics. He replies : Let me show you.
Then the attention shifts as Amy and him witness Me go from deflecting from what i want to confidently reassuring the now curious seller that : I can absolutely buy that.
We leave to go in the car and both Amy say did you just notice what happened :
I spent 30 min deflecting from what I want.
I asked and the response was “be careful about what you ask for” we do not have that other thing for the people you love but we have exactly what You , what You want.
There is something about black women wanting what they want. I made the seller mind bug.
I didn’t carry a chanelle/ dior bag, I am not married nor did I seem to have a fiancé. Most rich women don’t show up in a store wearing sneakers, sweat pants, big size T shirts and hat asking for solutions on how they can provide to their family. He had gotten the memo that i didn’t come from a rich family and that I was the one financing what i needed.
Ask. Dare to ask. For what you want.
What. You. You. You. What. YOU. Want.
With Love,
Rania I.
A lot of things i have have a history of how i dared to want what i want.